Friday, March 12, 2010


Poop !!! I never thought I would have so much to say about ****

I finally get around to pouring my first cup of coffee of the day and pour the milk into my cereal. I do not like cereal if it is soggy... have to eat it right away. Never fails.... "mommy I Pooped pants"... Another bowl of cereal given to the bulldog. I could easily fill a book with stories about my girls and their poop. The first lesson I ever learned as a new mommy was always be prepared. When you leave the house not only do you bring extra clothes for baby but also for yourself. Jeff and I were about 40 minutes away from home and going out for a nice dinner. We made a stop and I decided I should change her in the back seat. I took her diaper off and she pooped (not the solid kind, but it was pure liquid and it stunk bad!) We get back to driving and I found out that it got on my pants, I used about 20 wipes but I still smelled like **** during dinner.

Another time we were headed West on vacation. One of the girls let loose in the car seat and it was a bad one!!! Jeff took the first exit he could find and this was the poop that as a mother you just want to start crying.... it went everywhere!! I don't know how they do it- the poop went up her back and found her hair and then it even got inside her socks! Everything she was wearing went in the trash! I couldn't tell you how many wipes and paper towels were used. We should have tossed the car seat too... the poop juice ran down into the slots where the buckles go and the smell was terrible! We got to our first camp site and Jeff took a hose to it and then stuck it on a big stick next to the camp fire... really wish I had a picture of that :)

Here is a short story about another time when I was not prepared. Went to Madison Indiana to walk around for the day. We parked the car and walked about a mile to get something to eat. I forgot to take the diaper bag to the restaurant! Well you guessed it... right in the middle of the meal I started sniffing "Jeff, do you smell anything" " Yeah... smells like ****" I looked and at that very moment I really just wanted to walk out and leave her behind. (Yes, I said that! ) The poop was dripping down the side of the high chair. I had to hoist her out of the chair and carry her dripping butt to the bathroom and give her a bath in the restroom. I left with a naked baby in my arms. I did not have the nerve to look at anyone, I was so embarrassed! Jeff just payed and left... Needless to say the waitress got a really big tip!

My last story involves my 5 year old. At the age of 5 I did not think there would be anymore poop stories to tell on her, I was wrong! Last October we were vacationing in Florida and one day we were all out on the beach enjoying the weather and building sand castles. Abby came to me and said she had to poop. The walk back to our condo was about 10 minutes so I said lets go.... "mommy I can't wait that long, I've gotta go now!" Really??? The only thing I could think of was to drag her to the ocean. We went out there about waist deep and I had her sit on my knee and I told her to go. I honestly did not think she would do it but it flew out! I pulled up her bottoms and looked and there was a 8 inch turd floating behind us - yikes... we sprinted back to the beach =)

Well believe it or not this posting is done because I have to go and change a diaper =/

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