4 Little Words

Right now I am thinking to myself that I should be in a really bad mood! Why? The past 2 days I have been trying to pamper Abigail but I have also been doing a lot of yard work. We are getting the girls a really nice outdoor play set and in order for us to put it where we wanted Jeff sold our Gazebo. My mom always says that Jeff can sell snow to the eskimos and this is very true.

So... I ended up moving a ton of landscaping blocks and then I dug up all of the annuals that were surrounding the gazebo and replanted them. I also picked up the branches in the yard and basically just worked my butt off and then I came to work. I worked a 14 hour shift then when I got home I could only sleep about 2 hours because I had a terrible headache that would not go away. I got up and did some more work and I was moving slow..... my back was aching and my hamstrings were killing me! Then it was back to work for 12 more hours.

Work has been really busy! Non-stop and nothing was easy. I take x-rays and do CT scans, mostly on ER patients... tonight, I tried to heat up my lean cuisine dinner 3x until it was totally non edible. I am back to watching what I eat so that lean cuisine was going to be the highlight of my night. I wish I could tell you more about my job and some of the crazy things that happen but in health care there is something called HIPAA and that basically means keep your mouth shut or you will be fired. Anyway, my last 2 days have not been good yet I am smiling and I even seem to have an extra bounce in my step.

I think the answer is the weather. It is funny how a nice sunny day can make things better. I am also relieved that Abby is doing well after surgery and then, maybe it has something to do with the phone call I received last night at work.... Jeff had called and gave the phone to Caroline and she said for the first time... "I Love You Mommy" Seriously, what is better than that!

I could not wait for this cute little face to say those precious 4 words.


!

Abigail's Surgery

St. Vincents of Carmel



What a long and exhausting 4 days our family has had! Last Thursday morning when I left work I went home and Jeff and I slept for maybe 2 hours and then got up and headed for Carmel for Abigail's eye surgery. She was having an outpatient procedure but because we lived over 2 hours away the Doctors wanted us to stay close to the Hospital, just in case. We left the little one with my mom and dad so we could focus on only Abby. We stayed in a really nice hotel just about 2 miles from the Hospital and we let Abby do her favorite thing .... Swim!! Then we met up with some family for dinner and called it a night.

I kept telling Abby to eat good because she could not have anything after midnight. Abby just isn't a big eater , but as soon as she got out of bed in the morning she was so.. pitiful ... "I am so thirsty Mommy, Daddy I am so hungry!"






I would have to say in my opinion Abby is a pretty brave girl! Of course she had no idea what to expect, but there were other kids there that were crying and carrying on and Abby was just cool.

Do things ever go just as expected??? Rarely. We thought they were just going to operate on 1 eye, No... it was both! We didn't know she was getting general anesthesia and an IV. We had complete confidence in the Doctors and they put our minds at ease... somewhat .. But for me it was just a BIG WHAT IF? Her surgery lasted 90 minutes and I could not sit still! I was walking laps around the place. Just when I was about ready to have someone check on her the Doctor came out and said she did really good. What a Relief! She was in recovery and the Doctor said it would be just a few more minutes and we could see her. That few minutes turned into 1 hour and that is when I went looking for her. I guess they had gave her several meds during surgery but right after surgery they gave her morphine and she just wanted to sleep! ?They let me go back to recovery and I was able to be there when she did wake up. I was actually proud of myself... The first time she opened her eyes she had some blood that dripped down from them and I wanted to cry but I stayed strong.


Overall Abigail is doing really good. We have a follow up appointment Wednesday so we will know more then.





All of the nurses and
Doctors said Abby was very brave and that she
was a very sweet girl!












Thank You for all of your thoughts and Prayers!
Abby on her way home!

Mcdonalds - Friend or Foe?

Today when I got up from sleeping Mom and Dad were stir crazy... they wanted to get out of the house and explore the big town of Salem and pick up some lunch at Mcdonalds. The last time I went to this Mcdonalds they screwed the order up and we were missing 1 fish sandwich, so I decided to write down what everyone wanted :

3 Fish sandwiches

1 Big Mac value meal with a coke

2 cheeseburger happy meals with chocolate milk

Dad handed the note to the lady at the window and assumed (always a bad idea) the person could read and was capable of doing their job... They get home missing both Happy Meals and 1 chocolate milk. They only gave us the apples for the Happy Meals. I was furious! Mom and Dad said they would go back but they are old now and shouldn't have to mess with stuff like this. I had just gotten out of bed and had not even brushed my hair. I was wearing green flannel boxer shorts and a gray long sleeve shirt that was 10 years old, blue socks and crocs. I had planned on just going to the drive through. When I got there the line was very long and the place was packed. I don't know what got into me.. Maybe I was thinking about Abigail's surgery or how today's younger generation just doesn't seem to care, but I parked the car right in front of the door and got out and went inside and walked right to the register and asked for the manager. Everyone was watching me and I even apologized to the people next to me for the way I looked - I have never been out in public looking the way I did! Anyway, I had no problem giving the manager a piece of my mind. It has not just happened to us twice, I would say maybe 8 times we have had this problem. Jeff is usually much better at handling situations like this.. but I have to say I was proud of myself. Now if it was Wendys, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut... No problem, I would never go back. But there is just something about Mcdonalds when you get it and the food looks just like the picture on the wall and when the fries are done just right- very yummy!

We are leaving in the morning to take Abigail for her eye surgery so I will be taking a few days off from this blog. Please send prayers her way!

Sleep

Today I got some much needed sleep. Usually during the week I only get about 3-4 hours sleep a day and sometimes I think that I sleep with one eye open - why?? always wondering what the girls are getting into and mainly because I have been woke up too many times with a sippy cup to the head. A few years ago I made the mistake of thinking I could close my eyes for a few minutes and ended up having the phone slammed down on my face giving me a fat lip. Anyway, I never thought I would want and desire Sleep as much as I do now. A few weeks ago Jeff and I had our date night.

What we usually do ~ Get dressed up. Go to the movies. Go eat at a really nice restaurant. Go to a concert or sporting event. Eat sushi. Go to shooting range. Play golf. Eat at BW3 and drink a few beers. Go shopping... Stuff like that.

What we did ~ Ate at Olive Garden. Now if you knew Jeff you would know that he HATES the Olive Garden. He thinks it is a place for women only... If a place doesn't have buffalo heads and antlers on the wall he usually isn't too interested. He has the same feeling about Kohls. I love Kohls! He thinks it is a big rip off. Now do I give him a hard time about Bass Pro Shop and the Sportsman Guide??? Ok, here is the part of the date that made it so perfect -Yes dinner was great! After that we hit Walmart and shopped and we came home. My parents were spending the night to watch the girls for us so we came home and crawled in bed and watched 2 movies. 2 movies without any interruptions !!! We had popcorn and Reece cups and we stayed up late and the BEST part.... We got to SLEEP in! One of the best dates ever!

Tired Beyond Belief

It is Sunday night and my (plan) when I got off work Thursday morning was to take it easy. I went to the doctor about my cough and they think it is allergies- well the entire family has it and right now ~ Abigail has it really bad and that is not good!!! She is scheduled for her eye surgery this Friday! When Abby was about 10 months old her eye started crossing over so we found a really good doctor up in Indy and it turns out she is far sighted. For her 1st birthday she had new glasses. They plan on cutting the muscle and shortening it and then re-attach and this should correct the crossing over. However, she will still need the glasses. I really don't want to think about her having surgery.....

I will blame Facebook for my exhaustion ! I had a rare weekend when there was not a lot going on and I had several friends that posted that they had started Spring Cleaning. So I thought I might as well get it done... Jeff thinks when it comes to cleaning I am a total freak... He is right!!! When it comes to cleaning and having things neat and tidy I know I must have major OCD. For example, if I know there is a dirty dish in the sink I can't sit still and do something else until that dish is clean. I have tried and tried to break this habit but I can't seem to do it. Anyway, For almost 3 days I cleaned every wall, cabinet, closet, appliance, chair, couch... did laundry out the wazoo and even steam cleaned the carpet. It is crazy what you will find when you move furniture out of the way! I bet I vacuumed up almost a full box of Cheerios! The worst find was a neon orange colored stain under the couch ??? and then a sippy cup that had been lost since before Christmas. My advice... never open, just throw it away!!!

( I was so tired I could not finish this until today, which is now Monday) Been worried about Abigail. She has this big surgery this week and she has not been feeling well. The past 2 mornings she has had her eyes matted shut with yellow drainage and we get a towel wet and wipe the goo away for her. This is what Abigail told me this morning. " Mommy, I woke up and could not see because my eyes were glued shut" "I did not want to bug you or daddy so I used my senses to find the box of wipes to clear my eyes" I almost cried and Jeff just got up and called the Doctor and off we went to Bloomington. Turns out she has a sinus infection and he said she should still be good for her surgery. My Mom and Dad have come down for the week to help out with the girls. For me this is great! I love having them here and I love watching them with the girls. For Jeff... well, he has no problem at all with my Dad - nobody ever has a problem with dad, everyone loves him. But my Mom... hmm... Jeff says she is not normal and that she talks too much. I would have to agree with Jeff. She is not normal - I know that my OCD comes from her and definitely not my dad! She always has an opinion and is never afraid to speak it and I am just use to that. I guess my only problem is that when they leave Caroline will be really fussy!!! She is glued to my Moms hip the entire time and when they leave Jeff and I will pay dearly for that for the first few days.

Police and Potty Chair

I know everyone has those days when you should have just stayed in bed. Well my day was yesterday. I had worked all night and have not felt too good this week. I have had what Jeff calls a lumber jack cough. I only got about 2 hours of sleep because I just cough cough cough!!

Anyway, I woke up to a really nice surprise - Jeff is a really good cook and yesterday he served me lunch in bed. He had deep fried a turkey breast and made mashed potatoes and we had turkey manhattans - Delicious !!! After that it was all downhill!

3 years ago I got a speeding ticket on the way to work. I will admit if the girls are not in the car with me I have a lead foot. However, I learned my lesson and I always use cruise control now. The road I take to work is used a lot by the Amish. I got behind a slow moving dump truck and Amish buggy that were going about 20 mph so I passed them. I was going downhill and that is when the cop got me and gave me a ticket. As if that wasn't enough I was almost to town when I saw a kid running close to the road. I slowed way down and that is when the kid took a rock and threw it at the back of my car. I was so Pissed!!!! I really wanted to stop because I know it did some damage, but then I would have been late to work. Just a Bad Day!

On a much happier note ~ Today my 2 year old used the potty chair for the first time all by herself. My girls can always put a smile on my face =) She got her potty chair for Christmas and wasn't really too happy about it.

Changes?

Do things really change that much when you get married and have kids? For me the answer is YES! I honestly did not think I would change much about myself after having kids. Take for example Matthew Maconahay... he seems like such a cool parent. Whatever he does his son is right there doing the same thing- surfing, concerts, playing bongos.. Then I look around and I see these mothers who are really put together well. They are dressed really nice, their teeth have been whitened, their hair have highlights and they still shop at Abercrombie. How is this even possible???

Now the first 5 years Jeff and I were together I really did try and keep it together. I shopped at Victoria Secret, had manicures and pedicures regularly, exercised and I actually spent money on clothes. Today I just feel guilty if I spend extra money on stuff like that. I feel like I am taking away from the girls or taking away from a nice vacation. When we leave the house as a family the girls are always dressed nice and looking good, Jeff always has it going on and is styling and then there is ME ... I could be a Walmart model except for the shoes. (I never buy cheap shoes) I guess I could really use a wardrobe makeover!! I actually have clothes from high school and college that I am still wearing!

What else has changed??? Sleep (lack of it)
Shopping til I drop
White Castle at 3 am
Nascar Races (maybe 2 a year)
Reading
Relaxed Vacations
Longaberger Baskets
A Clean House
Day Hikes
Long Quiet Baths
The list just barely touches the surface of how many things have really changed. I can also say that some changes have been welcomed and that I wouldn't change anything for the life I have right now.

Now, if you ask Jeff - "have you changed?" He would say NO! I disagree. The girls can change Jeff the Grizzly bear into Pooh bear and I love to watch that! =)



















Pajamas before the kids.... and after kids....

She said What ???

If you look at this picture you will know why I have not been able to add a new blog for a few days. My oldest has taken over my laptop and wants to spend her days on PBS.com.

Also, if you look at this picture it really does tell you a lot about my girls. Lets just say that there are days when I feel sorry for the big sister!

We really did not have a lot going on this past weekend. Well, we did until both girls started coughing and not feeling too good. I have had it with this cold/flu season!!!! I use to pat myself on the back because my girls never got sick and now after this winter of nothing but colds and flu when their little noses start dripping I just feel like a bad mom!

Another Bad Mom moment happened yesterday. My mom and dad are known as Grandma and Papaw to the girls and then Jeff's mom is known as Granny. Well we decided to go and visit Granny and spend a little time with her. I was playing with the girls right in front of Granny and Jeff was about 20 ft. away. Out of the blue Abigail says to Granny - "Granny, Grandma loves me more than you do" Oh my Lord !!! ... there was silence for way too long... I just froze and couldn't say anything. My mouth was open, I just didn't know what to say. Now I am not one of those moms who believes in "time-out", personally I think its a load of crap! I believe every once in awhile a kid needs a good butt spanking to get the message. This wasn't a butt spanking moment.... I felt as though it was a bad mommy moment! I was just so happy that Jeff was there to smooth things over. I still don't know why she said it... she couldn't give me an answer but I do know that after lecturing her for over an hour it will not happen again.
Now I have invited Granny down to the farm for Easter weekend ~ Abigail had better get all of her crayons out and start coloring Granny some really pretty pictures!!!

Tammy

Poop

Poop !!! I never thought I would have so much to say about ****

I finally get around to pouring my first cup of coffee of the day and pour the milk into my cereal. I do not like cereal if it is soggy... have to eat it right away. Never fails.... "mommy I Pooped pants"... Another bowl of cereal given to the bulldog. I could easily fill a book with stories about my girls and their poop. The first lesson I ever learned as a new mommy was always be prepared. When you leave the house not only do you bring extra clothes for baby but also for yourself. Jeff and I were about 40 minutes away from home and going out for a nice dinner. We made a stop and I decided I should change her in the back seat. I took her diaper off and she pooped (not the solid kind, but it was pure liquid and it stunk bad!) We get back to driving and I found out that it got on my pants, I used about 20 wipes but I still smelled like **** during dinner.

Another time we were headed West on vacation. One of the girls let loose in the car seat and it was a bad one!!! Jeff took the first exit he could find and this was the poop that as a mother you just want to start crying.... it went everywhere!! I don't know how they do it- the poop went up her back and found her hair and then it even got inside her socks! Everything she was wearing went in the trash! I couldn't tell you how many wipes and paper towels were used. We should have tossed the car seat too... the poop juice ran down into the slots where the buckles go and the smell was terrible! We got to our first camp site and Jeff took a hose to it and then stuck it on a big stick next to the camp fire... really wish I had a picture of that :)

Here is a short story about another time when I was not prepared. Went to Madison Indiana to walk around for the day. We parked the car and walked about a mile to get something to eat. I forgot to take the diaper bag to the restaurant! Well you guessed it... right in the middle of the meal I started sniffing "Jeff, do you smell anything" " Yeah... smells like ****" I looked and at that very moment I really just wanted to walk out and leave her behind. (Yes, I said that! ) The poop was dripping down the side of the high chair. I had to hoist her out of the chair and carry her dripping butt to the bathroom and give her a bath in the restroom. I left with a naked baby in my arms. I did not have the nerve to look at anyone, I was so embarrassed! Jeff just payed and left... Needless to say the waitress got a really big tip!

My last story involves my 5 year old. At the age of 5 I did not think there would be anymore poop stories to tell on her, I was wrong! Last October we were vacationing in Florida and one day we were all out on the beach enjoying the weather and building sand castles. Abby came to me and said she had to poop. The walk back to our condo was about 10 minutes so I said lets go.... "mommy I can't wait that long, I've gotta go now!" Really??? The only thing I could think of was to drag her to the ocean. We went out there about waist deep and I had her sit on my knee and I told her to go. I honestly did not think she would do it but it flew out! I pulled up her bottoms and looked and there was a 8 inch turd floating behind us - yikes... we sprinted back to the beach =)

Well believe it or not this posting is done because I have to go and change a diaper =/

Food

How ironic it is that I am blogging while watching the food network! What can I say, I love food! I love to cook, I love to eat out at nice restaurants, I love to try new things and I also love a good greasy burger. Also, it was the movie Julie and Julia that gave me the idea to blog. Jeff and I watched that movie together and I was thinking that if the kids were not so young, that is something that Jeff and I would do... cook everything from Julia Child's cookbook in one year.


My new running/workout shoes that Jeff got me for Christmas still need broken in... and one of my weaknesses that I must look at every night at work... More Willpower Tammy!!!


Up until I turned 30 I could eat anything and not really worry about my weight. It was after I had my first baby. I really didn't pack on much weight during the pregnancy - it was when I got home with baby. While I was pregnant I ate really good. As soon as I got home it was pop tarts and cheese nips and coke and here is the big one.... CHOCOLATE!!! I LOVE chocolate.

With my first girl I did really good with her for the first 2 years. Most of the food we gave her was organic and there was no Mcdonalds. I wish I could say that has continued. I guess I can only say that I have gotten lazy about that and I really do want to get back to that healthy lifestyle. I guess one good thing is that we do not eat out very much. We might just go out once a week and the rest of the time we cook. Last Summer I got really serious about losing some weight and I did really good. I lost 35 pounds! I looked and felt so much better. Right now I am in a big funk with food... I have gained 7 pounds back and I am not happy about that! It is time for me to re-focus and start eating healthy again. I did not have a garden last year so I am really looking forward to getting outside and having the girls help me with that.

Busy? Not Really

Well this week seems to be flying by and I really don't know why. Have I been really busy? I asked myself that question and the answer is .... not really. After having a great weekend I started back to work Monday night. A typical Monday for me is laundry and a little cleaning. I try to sleep in until around 8:30 or 9am because I won't be able to sleep for about 24 hours. Jeff is already up and usually feeds the girls and the animals and I will grab a very large cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and try to wake up. I give the girls their momma lovin' and then I wash and iron clothes. Iron??? YES... it was something I use to always give my mom grief about because she would iron everything... now I am the same. Laundry did not get done yesterday. I am a planner! Jeff ... well he flies by the seat of his pants... he runs on Jeff time, which makes things fun ~ even if it does mess up my planned schedule. It was a beautiful day outside so we ended up going for a drive in the country and then we went to eat at a place called 5 Guys. I would have to say- it is my favorite place to get a burger. They are Killer!!!!

We have had a lot of snow days in school this year. My oldest is in her second year of pre-school and she usually has school twice a week. For the last 2 weeks it has been 4x a week, which really messes with my sleep!! Jeff will take her or pick her up whenever I need him to - but I always make sure she is dressed and her hair is done, etc. I worked a 14 hour shift last night and when I got home I just had about 15 minutes to get Abby ready and while Jeff was taking her to school Caroline had me running in circles... "Momma, Momma, Momma... my milk, kiss my boo boo, my blanket, where is Abby?, Daddy gone??, my milk.... I know Jeff was only gone for a few minutes but I have never been happier to see him return so I could go to bed!

Hopefully tomorrow I will be more productive at home! The girls want to try on their new Easter dresses and lets hope the rain will end by Saturday... they want to have breakfast with the Easter Bunny and hunt for eggs at a local school. I am so ready for Spring and Summer !!!

Sunshine and Syrup

What a difference the sunshine can make! We had a big family day today and took the girls to a local syrup festival. The weather was just perfect to be outside and enjoy all the activities. We had a pancake and waffle breakfast and then took the girls on a hike and then we all learned how pioneers and then Indians made syrup. Daddy showed Abby how to use a cross-cut saw and to throw an axe =/ and then I helped her make a candle. Caroline just ate popcorn and tried to get into trouble =)
I let the girls play hard today and get dirty... which sometimes is hard for me to do. By the time we left they were covered in mud but they had big smiles on their face! Note to self.... don't sweat the small stuff, let them get dirty!!!
It is 9pm and Jeff has been up for over 32 hours but he still wants us to have "Our" time. So we are going to crawl in bed and watch a movie. What a great ending to a great day! Hope the weather is nice tomorrow!!!! Maybe we will start the day off with some pancakes so we can use some of the new syrup we got today = )



In the picture above Abby is holding the piece of wood she and her daddy cut and then they branded a maple leaf on it for her.




Caroline really liked her breakfast!!


Someday I will try and learn how to customize this blog... I don't know how to move my pictures around or put cute little additions to it... I am not too good with a computer!!!

Everyone have a great weekend! Tammy

A Hitchcock Ending???

Today was a pretty good day, mostly! I will get to the "mostly" in a minute. Jeff came home from work and we almost got to watch all of last nights American Idol before the little ones woke up. Ate a small snack in bed with the girls and then we got dressed to go to my mom and dads where we left to head to Bloomington. Along the way we stopped into a place where we placed the order for the girls outdoor play set. So much for our usual big summer vacation! Anyway, we ate a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel ( is there really anything any better than their blueberry pancakes?) After that we hit Kohls (don't know why Jeff hates this store so much??) and Sams Club. Went back to Grandma and Papaws and let the girls tear up their house for a few hours... I swear, by the time I could put my purse down and fix a sippy cup about 200 pieces to a doll house and a ton of cookie crumbs were all over the floor , how can they do that so quickly??
After a really nice visit at mom and dads we get home... Jeff is at work and the sun has almost set. I really needed to go out to the barn to check on the Donkeys. I open the door and walk in and I Scream!!! There must have been about 30 black birds (at first I thought they were bats) flying all over the place and right above my head! Yes I got pooped on and no I did nothing for the donkeys... they will wait to sunrise! I get inside and take a quick shower and get the girls their dinner. One of the reasons for Sams Club was we needed batteries for all of Abby's toys. I think I spent almost $50 on batteries today, that is Nuts!!! Well it is bedtime for Caroline and usually when you lay her down to bed the stress of the day is gone... I get her in her crib, tuck her in, turn the radio and night light on and try to walk out of her room.... She starts bawling!!!! She has been attached to her blanket since birth, the only time she doesn't sleep with it is at the sitters because I am afraid she might lose it. Abby and I search the house, we looked everywhere!!!! I hear Abby ask Caroline where did you lose your blanket? Caroline said trash. I had to go outside and dig through the trash to find nothing.... The blanket finally showed up wedged behind the bed. Great day sorta ended on a crazy note... the barn ordeal really freaked me out because I do have a fear of bats and that is what I thought I was dealing with. Got a headache now so I am off to bed early tonight.
Tammy

Who Needs Sleep

Jeff and I both work night shift which thus far has worked out really well for us. We only have to leave the girls one night a week with the parents of a friend I work with and that has worked out great, they treat the girls like their own grand kids and my girls love them. I have been working night shift for 14 years now and I honestly love it. Before the girls came along I guess you could say Jeff and I were living like "Rock Stars" We both worked nights - 3-12s for me and Jeff did 4 in a row and got 12 hrs O.T every week. We would get home in the morning and crawl in bed with our breakfast and watch all of our tivo shows and then SLEEP When our work week was over you just never knew what we were going to do... We might load the camper and head to Richmond for a Nascar Race or make a quick trip to Nashville to party at Tootsies and listen to music or one time Jeff just surprised me and we were headed to Turks and Caicos - Great Times! Man have the times changed!!! Sleep??? Not good sleep! Spur of the moment trips without planning.. hmm, not yet. Jeff and I talk about it and just laugh about how much things have changed but we would not change anything! We try to make it a point to plan a "date night" once every 3 months but other than that we like to have the girls with us all the time and we want them to experience life with us.
I use to wonder about if I should or should not work. I want the very best for my family and for that to happen I need to work. I need some time away from the house and away from mommy duty. Right now working nights works... I don't require much sleep, I come home and sleep for 3-3 1/2 hours and I am able to function. Now as the older I get I really do believe it is getting harder. But somehow we make it work.

Ready or Not

Right after Jeff and I got married we bought a mini-farm in a small town. This is crazy because we are both city people. We inherited chickens and goats and later added the donkeys. Our house is what you call a work in progress. We decided to basically re-do everything. We were taking our time and paying for things as we went along. Jeff is really good with wood work so we got rid of all the doors and trim work and were replacing it with oak. The place was a complete mess!!! We had so much work to do that you just didn't know where to start.
I was 36 and we wanted to get started on a family. We thought it might take awhile for me to get pregnant but in less than a month we were expecting. I loved being pregnant!!! Yes I had nausea and vomiting and my back always seemed to hurt but I truly loved the entire pregnancy. The only thing that sent my stress level through the roof was I was having a c-section in 1 week and we had no carpet, there was still some dry wall to hang and finish and the nursery wasn't quite ready!!! I was an emotional wreck until the day a large white van pulled up to the house and about 10 mexicans jumped out with our carpet. As a first time mom I wanted everything to be just perfect. That sounds so funny now when I think about it - perfect?? What was perfect was our little girl. The first time I got to hold her I was so emotional and the feeling of pure love that only a mother can feel for their child just consumed me. I remember right before going home the nurse came into the room to go over discharge papers.. she talked about post partum depression and at the time I was like... lady you are nuts, I don't believe in that at all and just let me go home. I will admit, there was one time during my first week home that for about 2 hours I think maybe I was going through that a little... it didn't last long.
3 years later we were blessed again with another perfect little girl. So here we are... 2 older parents both working night shift trying to give our girls the best possible life. We are older than most of our girls friends parents and we are tired a lot from lack of sleep and it takes us a little while to pop out of bed in the morning with our little aches and pains but we make it work and our girls are very happy and loving and what else is really important. I will admit it is so much harder being a parent than what I thought, but I would not trade it for anything! Today I was putting the girls in the car to take them to the babysitters (which we have to do once a week) and I looked at my 5 year old and her nose was scratched up and her glasses were broken, "Abby, what happened! "Nothing Mommy, Caroline (2) just sat her butt down on my face" .... Priceless....

Part 3 - getting to know me

I met Jeff in 1998. I was working at a small hospital and he was the guy that was suppose to train me. First impression... I hated him!!! I would go out with my friends and tell them about this "jerk" that I had to work with. It is really hard to explain this but one day we had to work a Saturday together and I was studying for my CT boards and I found myself just looking at him all the time! Later that day we had to go get something from a storage room and it was really dark and spooky in this room and he grabbed my lower leg to scare me and fireworks went off inside me. Crazy, I know. The big problem my family and friends had with Jeff was that he had a family. He was separated from his wife but not yet divorced. He had 2 much older daughters that were out of college and not at home and then one adopted daughter who was starting high school. Jeff was 12 years older than me but the idea of me with a guy who had "baggage" did not set well with mom and dad. Jeff and I married November 15, 2002.
About a year before I met Jeff I had been having some serious medical problems. I am not going to go into any details but I will say that it was a very long and painful road for me that did not end until about 2 years ago. Because of my medical problems (7 major surgeries) and medications, my life was pretty cloudy and uncertain. Things were done and said on my part that I wish I could take back. Mistakes were made and I have learned a very hard lesson! My parents now love Jeff and they know he takes good care of their daughter.
Now onto much bigger and better things... Moving to the farm and starting a family =)