Sometimes Your the Bug!

Sometimes in life things don't always work out the way you had anticipated. There is a country song that states " Sometimes your the windshield and sometimes your the bug" .... Well for the past few weeks I have felt like the bug!

I no longer work full-time and at first it was a shock to my system - I felt all sorts of things... panic, fear, boredom, sadness, guilt...

For almost 15 years I have worked night-shift and up until I had kids it was the perfect thing for me. However, the older I get the more I realize that sleep is something a person really does need, and working Full-time nights and being a Mommy really doesn't work too well for me. For almost 6 years I ran on very little sleep and I am sure this has had to have a negative affect on the kids and not to mention what it was doing to me. Jeff has always wanted me to be home with the kids and its not that I didn't want to stay home with them- but we were use to a certain type of lifestyle and in order for us to "play big" I needed to work. Plus, I do like my job and what I do.

For almost a month now I have been working only part-time and what that has given me can never be taken away! During the day and on my days off I am not walking around in a big fuzzy cloud because I am totally exhausted...

I had forgotten what it was like to not be tired. The biggest thing is the Time and the memories that I am building with my girls. They love having mommy around more and they love that mommy is not always grouchy and that she doesn't knock them over anymore trying to get to the coffee pot when she first wakes up.

We might have to cut back on steak and sushi nights and limit some of our Travels but right now is the time to enjoy the kids because they grow up way too fast!!! I am so blessed to have such a loving and understanding family!

Paw Prints in Heaven

Well I have not been a very good blogger the past couple of weeks! I guess you could say that it has been a bad 2 weeks for me! I work pretty long shifts and I had only 10 minutes to go until I got to go home and sleep... Only 10 Minutes ! Well, I didn't get to go home right away because I hurt my back. For about 10 days I was walking around my house like I was about 90 years old. The back is much better - but now I have this little voice in the back of my head that keeps shouting at me and reminding me that I am no longer in my 20's. I wish that same little voice would have told me to slow down a bit and relax when I was in my 20's and 30's .... 20 years of my life just literally flew right by me and right now I am thinking that I want time to slow way down!!! Life moves too fast if you ask me ... 20 years of my life was gone in a blink of an eye, 9 years with Bubba was not enough time!




5 days ago our family lost the best Dog we have ever had. Our bulldog Bubba passed away. He was with us 9 years and everyone that has ever met him loved him. There was not one mean bone in his body! You could not have asked for a more loving and sweet dog than Bubba. For the past 3 months he wasn't doing too good. It was about 2 weeks ago that he went totally blind and things were just hard for him. He was a big part of our family and it was hard for Abby, it still is. This was the first time that she has had to deal with death and she had so many questions!!! When we buried him she was inside and the next day she came out and looked at the grave (It was fixed nice with flowers and stone)
I had told her that Bubba was in a better place and that he could see now and he would no longer be suffering and that he was running around putting paw prints all over Heaven's floor. So she looks at his grave and gives me a dirty look and says " Mommy, I thought you said he was in a better place? ( Yes honey, he is) "Well Mom, how is being thrown in a hole and covered with dirt a better place"? I told her to go and talk to Daddy. I guess I was just not ready for that conversation.

It Happens Again

If you read my last post you know that I was in a "mood" for a few days because of missing the Indy 500. I seem to be a happy camper again.



The past few weeks I have been having several of my friends going to High School graduations to celebrate their child's own graduation. What is so crazy to me is that I remember these kids when they were barely walking and now they are grads! Doesn't seem possible. Out of all of my friends I am the oldest Mommy. I am 42 with a 2 year old and 5 year old and I just made a Doctors appt. today because I think I am starting to get arthritis in some of my joints! I seriously need to start searching for that fountain of youth!!!

I know that a few months ago I dedicated an entire posting to Poop. I thought, or I was hoping that subject would never come up again. Guess again!!! Yesterday I was running a little late for work because I was outside all day with the girls playing. I get inside and fix them a bubble bath and get them in the tub - I ask Jeff to keep an ear on them so that no one drowns because I needed to get in and out of the shower fairly quickly - Well - I was in the shower maybe 2 minutes and here come my 2 little girls standing in front of my shower wearing only the bubbles - the oldest yells out that her sister pooped in the tub and that it was very gross! Jeff doesn't do poop or vomit very well... I cleaned up the mess and headed to work....





Early this morning...... I get home from work and I am taking care of the dog who stays downstairs... my oldest comes down to see me because she wants to show me something... we go to the laundry room and she shows me what use to be her little purple panties... keep in mind that she is telling me this like it is the biggest accomplishment she has achieved in her 5 year life... " Mommy, I thought I had to fart but instead poop flew out my butt" " It was the biggest mess ever" After working a 14 hour shift I had no clue what to say, I gave her a hug, put the "purple panties" in the trash, sprayed the febreeze, and gave her another big mommy hug.

What is Wrong with Tammy?

What is wrong with Tammy? All week long I have been asking myself this question. I have not been in a bad mood but I have not been myself at all. I just felt lazy all week and did not want to really do anything at all. I guess you could say I have been in a major funk !!! Well I have finally figured out what is wrong with me ... I am homesick. A few weeks ago I posted a blog about the Indy 500 and how I just lost interest in it and quit going after 37 straight races. Well this is the first year since I was 2 that I have not walked in the gates to the track. We were suppose to go to pole day last week but allergies and sinus problems kept me from going. Carb day is always something that I look forward to all year long but I forgot to tell Jeff to take that night off of work and it would not be fun without him.
So, I know that I said the race has lost a lot of its luster and I still believe the best drivers were from the 60's,70's and 80's (Today's drivers just have it way too easy and in my opinion they are too pampered) That being said, there is nothing in this World that compares to Indy on race day morning. I guess it just doesn't really matter who is behind the wheel, when you see those cars come around the 4th turn going 225 mph I dare you to not get goosebumps. So ~ I am homesick!!! I miss my town of Speedway, I miss my friends, I miss decorating my house for the race, and I miss the Race. This will not happen next year because I will be attending the 100th running!!!

"Neat Freak-itis" ???

Well Jeff and I took a week off from work to hang out with the kiddos. Our initial plans were to go camping... we checked out the forecast and decided to cancel the camping and to just hang out around the house and run around with the girls all week. We had a lot of fun! It was my birthday week and there was also Mother's Day~ so just having the time to be together as a family and devoting our time to the girls made it special.


My little one sitting in a garden looking cute, and...

My goofy oldest showing me how much she likes the park.

I am a very organized and task oriented person when I am at home. It is like I have this internal time schedule/to do list.. and if I get off schedule it just really puts me in a funk. I am trying very hard to change this but it is not easy for me. This past week I just let things go ~ I didn't worry about yard work, I didn't panic if there was a dirty dish in the sink or cookie crumbs on the floor... We stayed up late and we ate junk food and we got dirty and sticky and we had FUN!

I doubt if there will ever be a total cure for my "neat freak-itis" but this past week has made me realize just how short life is and sometimes Momma just needs to Chill and let things go.

All that being said now it's time to go back to work - I will sure miss all the extra time I had with the girls!!! We will try the camping again next month.

Note to self ~ No Junk food !!! , that means No Chips (you don't need the salt !!!!) No ice cream, No fried foods,NO real coke, and moderate chocolate intake!!!! also... FIX your Hair!!!! omg!!! You are looking like Bonnie Raitt!!! Yikes!!!

Camping

Well right now I am officially on vacation. No big plans this time.. get a few things done around the farm, do a little camping and have some fun with the girls. After working all night I really wanted to come home and sleep for a few hours but it was so nice outside that when I picked up Abby from school I decided to take the girls on a little picnic. I had hoped to post a few pictures but when I turned my camera on it "crashed" ... I will assume that "somebody" dropped it and has not told me yet. Not good... and at the start of a vacation! Isn't that the way it always goes.
~ Camping ~
One of my favorite things to do! Before Kids!!! I am sure things will be a little different when the girls get just a little older, but right now the words camping and vacation should not be used together. Here is my typical Camping Day with the kiddos...

I wake up at 6am because I have to pee (very badly) I don't dare get out of bed in fear of waking the little ones. They are both early risers and I want to wait as long as possible before I go into "mommy mode".

Fix Coffee!
Fix breakfast (my favorite meal of the day when camping) Why does eggs and bacon always taste better when you camp???
Clean up dishes, pots and pans, table...
Get girls dressed
Send girls outside with Jeff
Make the beds, tidy up camper
Get myself dressed
Sit down in chair with book (love to read when camping)
Watch the girls every 10 seconds...
Go on hike
Use about 20 wipes to clean off girls
Fix lunch
Clean up (usually isn't too bad at lunch)
Sit down in chair with book (still on page #1)
Girls holler for a drink
Sit down in chair with book (still on page #1)
Girls holler for a snack
Use about 10 wipes to clean them off again
Sit down in chair again with book (still on page #1)
Watch Jeff start fire
Jeff wants to know where something is ... I tell him exactly where to find it.... he still can't find it.... he tells me not to worry about it and to relax and enjoy my book...
I get up and get whatever Jeff was looking for.
Play more with the girls
Fix dinner
Clean up dishes, pots and pans, table...
Sit around fire.. eat smores
Take girls to shower house (this is always a challenge!)
Put girls to bed with a movie
Jeff and I sit by fire and talk
Pop open a bud light-drink
Girls holler for a drink
Pop open a second bud light-drink only half
Go inside camper up to bed with book (still on page #1)
Jeff says lets watch a movie.. made it to page #3 =)
Goodnight

Well that is pretty much the routine unless we are camping and site seeing too.
There is a pretty big chance of rain next week so we may be changing our plans a little. Nothing worse than camping and being stuck inside on a rainy day with not a lot to do. I will just leave it up to Jeff, he is really good about coming up with fun things to do.. You just never know what you will be doing =)

Will Tammy ever get an ipod?

Caroline helping Mommy get ready for the Yard Sale




Well I can't tell you how glad I am that last weekend is over. Because of my 2 little ones the past 3 years I have had a yard sale - and it is really hard work getting things ready, and now I am so relieved that it is over!

The sale went really well and my plans for some of the money was to get myself something that I have been wanting for awhile... an ipod. Before having kids when there was something I wanted I just went and got it. I never had to wait for something to go on sale, for example, if Nike came out with a new shoe that I really liked I just went and got it ~ Longaberger and Coach at that time were not unthinkable. Now because I feel the need to save for our Kids so that they can have the best possible future I don't buy new clothes to often and I only buy new Nikes when I need them and not when I want them. So.. anyway, I was really excited about getting an ipod!!!! However, I was watching TV and saw where this thing called Walking with the Dinosaurs was coming to Louisville and Abigail LOVES dinosaurs! I get online and look at tickets... the ticket prices? Absolutely ridiculous !!!! So much for my ipod... the look on Abby's face will be priceless.

Changing the Subject...


This is the way Abby's room looks (most) of the time. She is really good about keeping things picked up and keeping her room neat. But..... I will have to say that her little sister is a bad influence....



This is what I woke up to the other day. They were both totally oblivious to the fact that I was even taking pictures... I almost started crying...